heiots

Battlestar Galactica

2009-12-07T09:15:03Z

I can listen to Battlestar Galactica's soundtracks all day long! How amazing and genius is Bear McCreary for creating such incredible pieces of music?

Affairs of the Heart Chpt 2

2008-06-09T10:14:49Z

Well, when I said I'd take a while to write more, I didn't know it meant more than a month. Anyways, here's the second chapter. :) Hope you like it.

Chapter 2

It was late into the evening when she returned home. Home was the tiny apartment in a three-storey building just across the road opposite where she worked. It had been for nearly a year now. Slowly, step by step, she struggled up the narrow stairway, in her arms, her young slumbering son. Jacen.

His blond head rested awkwardly at the edge of her shoulder, about to roll off any second, and she adjusted it to a more comfortable position. There, much better. A soft sigh filled her ear, causing a flicker of a tired smile to cross her face. She lived for these moments. Little things like that reminded her once again why she was chose this life. It explained how she was able to work every single day of the week for 12 straight hours. She clutched the small, warm body tighter as she carefully ascended the last of the stairs. She obviously could not bring her son to work so in the day, she would leave him with her landlady living just below them. For a small sum, of course. It wasn’t the kind of care that she would choose for her only son, but then again, she didn’t have any other choice. She made a left turn, stopping just in front of her apartment, and dug into her jeans for the key.

It wasn’t there.

She frowned, shifted the toddler to the other arm and tried the other pocket. Still there was nothing. For one second, she wondered what would happen if she gave just one long, loud, frustrated scream. That would feel good for sure.

Okay, Kate. You can handle this. It’s just a minor problem. No need to blow your top. You’ve faced problems a hundred times worse than this.

With much effort, balancing her son and her few packages, she rummaged about in her handbag and finally found what she was looking for. Her rust-spotted key. As she inserted the tip of metal piece into the keyhole, she wondered somewhere at the back of her mind.

If she really had screamed, what would have happened?

***

She stepped out from the shower cubicle, reached for the thin, pink towel by the wall. Wrapping it around her body, she moved towards the mirror above the sink, avoiding her newly-washed waitress uniform that was left to dry on a hanger. Water droplets dripped from its edges, one by one, onto the wet floor.

Drip, drip, drip.

In the bathroom, they echoed an emptiness that was inside her. Water trickled down her legs onto the rough tiles, merging with the puddles on the ground. She leaned against the sink, the smooth white edge grasped in her hands.

Kate.

There it was. She knew it would never leave her alone. Every night the voice haunted her.

Kate, it insisted.

Go away, she told it angrily. Leave me alone.

You need to listen.

I won’t, she replied stubbornly. Shut up.

If you don’t forget him, you and Jacen will be doomed to live this kind of life. You don’t want him to live like this, do you? Grow up in this kind of environment?

At that, all thoughts that she was supposed to be ignoring it disappeared and she began to argue. We will not! He will come back. He promised.

How long ago has that been?

Her grip on the sink tightened. Tears threatened to escape from the corners of her eyes.

Wake up, Kate. It said quietly. He’s gone. He’s never going to come back.

She shook her head painfully. No. He said…he said he loved me.

Does he now?

Silent sobs wracked her body as she slid down the wall onto the floor. Pressing her fist to her mouth, she began to cry.

***

He found her lying awake in their bed, the room lit only by the bedside lamps. He let out a small sigh. Well, time for you to apologize, James. He shrugged off his black coat, tossed it onto the back of a chair, and rubbed his face with a hand. She obviously knew he was there. She was just waiting for him to speak. Very typical of women, he thought wryly.

With carefully measured steps, he walked to the bed and sat down by her side. She was lying beneath the covers, her silky blond hair spread on the pillow. She looked so beautiful. Her eyes were open, but she wasn’t looking at him. He touched her hair gently, ran his fingers down the golden strands.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered roughly.

She didn’t move, didn’t even blink.

“Juliet...”

When she finally met his gaze, he noticed the tears shimmering in her blue eyes. “Oh Julie, I’m so sorry.” He pulled her into his embrace, stroking her hair as she buried her face in his shirt. He took a deep breath and released it slowly. “It’s just...sometimes I wish you understand the situation I am in.” At that, he felt her stiffen. She pulled away from his arms, looked at him with an emotion he couldn’t quite discern. He frowned a little. “What?”

“What...what situation?” Her voice was quiet.

“Well,” he shifted on the bed. “You’ve got to understand that I’m in a position where people are always looking at me, judging me by my actions, by what I say and...they’re also looking at you. You’re my wife. Like today, I did mention to arrive at seven but—”

“I told you. It wasn’t my fault!”

“I find it hard to believe, Juliet, that the service that I’ve depended on for years failed me.”

She shoved her fists into the bed, afraid that if she didn’t, she would start hitting her husband. “You would rather believe that than me?”

“Perhaps if you would stop pushing the blame and be more understanding—”

“More understanding?” Her heart was beating so loudly she could practically hear it in her ears. “Look James, ever since I married you, I’ve tried to be understanding. There’s no way I can be more understanding than I am now. I’ve tried to be the best wife possible. I do whatever you tell me too, even when I hate it. And I...I mingle with your friends—”

“My friends?” He cut in incredulously. “They’re yours too.”

“No. They’re not.” She stared at him coldly. “If you haven’t noticed, James, I’ve nothing in common with those people.”

“Those people are our kind of people, Juliet. I’m sure you know that by now. They give us—”

“Status?” Her eyes never left his. “Is that what you were about to say?”

“Whether you like it or not, Juliet, that’s a huge part of who we are.”

She pressed her lips together. For you maybe, James. Not for me.

“You chose this kind of life when you married me. I work hard. That’s why we are where we are now. People look up to us, Juliet. Do you think I really enjoy spending time away from home?”

Home is where your heart is.

“I really don’t understand why you’re still not satisfied,” he shook his head, puzzled. “I give you everything you need.”

“No.” She shot one look at her husband. “Not everything James.” With that, she burrowed herself back under the covers and shut her eyes.

Conversation over.

***

‘Jack, listen to me. It wasn’t your fault.’

He clutched his throbbing head between his hands. He wanted to tune them out.

‘We couldn’t have saved her. She would have died in weeks even if she had survived the operation.’

He had heard similar words during the past few days. Yet, they always sounded hollow to his ears. Lies. They were all lies. ‘It was my fault. If I’d tried harder...If I’d—‘

‘Listen to me! There was no way we could have pulled this one through. And I’m telling you it was not your fault she died.’

The guilt was pounding inside of him with every heartbeat. Tears blinded his eyes such that his vision was blurred before him. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat to speak.

I could’ve saved her. I could’ve...I...

He bolted straight up in the darkness, beads of perspiration dotting his forehead. A familiar pain seared right through his head, causing a swear word to involuntarily escape from his mouth. He squeezed his eyes shut. Perhaps he should not have drunk so much before sleeping. He should’ve known better. Leaning back gingerly, he rested his head on the cracked wall.

Jack, Jack, Jack...

He quietly released a tired sigh, imagined all his troubles dispersing with the floating air particles. A soft, furry touch on the sole of his foot nearly caused him to jump a foot from his bed.

What the—

He glanced down. The black kitten meowed up at him, its blue eyes glinting in the rays of moonlight.

Oh right, he had forgotten all about his night rescue.

It placed its front paws on his legs and meowed again. The tiniest of all smiles crossed his face as he watched the young cat try making its way to him, tumbling over the tangled blankets in the process. “Hey there,” he greeted it cordially in his hoarse voice as it began its climb up his chest. The kitten purred in reply and licked his face with its little rough tongue. He laughed and was surprised. It had been ages since he had heard himself laugh aloud, what more without any undertones of bitterness or sadness. He rubbed the kitten’s head. “Perhaps you’re good for me,” he said, looking into the glowing blue eyes that seemed to comfort him. “I’d like you to stay here with me.”

You’re crazy Jack. Listen to yourself. You’re talking to a cat.

His jaw muscle twitched. So he had descended to such depths that his only companion was an animal. But who cared? Certainly not him.

By now, the kitten had curled up into a ball on his stomach, apparently choosing to spend the rest of the night there. He looked at it, the only living thing that probably cared about his existence right now. Nobody else cared after...he pulled his eyes away. After that incident. He swallowed hard. Tears came to his eyes...but he would not cry. He promised himself a long time ago that he wouldn’t.

Sleep Jack, sleep. Tomorrow will be a better day.

He slid back down onto the bed.

The memories will fade. The pain will disappear.

He gazed out at the bright, shining moon and shut his eyes.

Lie Jack, lie to yourself. Everything will be alright.

***

Something was wrong. She could feel it in the air the morning she was heading to her usual place of solace. The servants that passed her on their way down gave her odd stares, as though they knew something she didn’t but were just plain too scared to tell her. A small worried frown crept onto her forehead.

It’s just your imagination, Juliet, she told herself. You’re frightening yourself for no reason.

Yet she could not help the uneasy feeling that was tying her stomach into knots as she drew closer and closer to the room. She placed her hand on the knob, hesitated for the slightest moment, then, pushed the door open. The second it swung round to reveal the interior, she saw the reason why they were behaving the way they were.

Gone. They were all gone. Her beloved paintings were gone. Her canvases, her paint brushes, her easel. All that was left in the room were the table, the chair and an empty shelf.

Her mouth parted but the words did not come. She stood there, frozen, in the open doorway.

Who did this, was the only thought whirling about in her brain.

And only one answer came to her mind.

Her husband.

She flew down the stairs. With each step, her anger grew by leaps and bounds until she felt it flowing through her veins, pumping in her head. He had no right to take whatever that was left of hers.

Perhaps he didn’t know, a voice argued. But reasoning made no sense now. It didn’t matter. Because at that moment, she was sure she had never hated anyone as much as she hated her husband right now.

Because I heard the cool kids are doing it

2008-05-22T23:18:34Z

...and because it's point number 7. :D

1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
7. In return, you must post this in your LJ.

I went trekking...

2008-05-22T12:01:41Z

About two weeks ago. 13 to 14 kilometers in 4-5 hours over rocks and stuff...I made really lousy time according to my brother...who's in the army.

(That's my brother. :P)

(View from the bridge)

(Which is reeeaaally high up! Don't be fooled. Those trees are tall.)

(My bro again. He's always in front, isn't he?)

(Random cabin from nowhere.)

(And I thought it was a cat...)

(Of course, my brother corrected me. *sigh*)

(Monkey. We saw tons of them. Well...more than ten, at least.)

(We ended up at...)

(It was fun. I don't mind doing it again. :P)

Wouldn't it be great...

2008-05-19T12:33:07Z

...if there was a magic word that if you said it when things go wrong, it'll just be right again?

heiots @ 2008-05-15T22:08:00

2008-05-15T14:49:41Z

For China, thousands of lives gone...and Myammar, a hundred thousand.

Cyclone in Myanmar

Earthquake in China

On the news they showed the soldiers rescuing this woman from beneath the rubble. It so happened that that day was her birthday. So while carrying her on the stretching and wiping her face and everything, all the soldiers sang the Happy Birthday song to her in the midst of chaos.

Off-key. But it gets 10 points from me.

Life is precious. Don't waste it.

...

2008-05-01T09:56:58Z

So how do I start getting involved in my family members' lives?

Because it sure doesn't sound easy...and sounds even harder to work out. By one's blog, you can know more about that person than you've ever known in your whole entire life. Guess I gotta stop being lazy and make an effort to get involved in the lives around me. Gotta appreciate more, grumble less. ...be less spoilt...less...dependent on people.

Sick

2008-04-29T07:21:11Z

I hate being sick. It just sucks the life outta you. ...and it makes you miss school, which means missing out on lessons...which isn't the best thing to do on your final year. :S

PS: Happy belated birthday Fran! Sorry I didn't wish ya sooner. :( But I hope you had a great birthday. ;D

Question

2008-04-25T14:56:31Z

Is it worth it to lose your friends and be regarded as an outcast just to stand for what's right?

Do you believe...

2008-04-24T14:13:51Z

...that I just deleted my YouTube account?

I must be on something...

POD!!!

2008-04-23T08:09:30Z

Ack. Working on my portfolio development is liable to give me a headache. It's only the second week of school and I'm already starting to feel the stress! :S I better work harder. Gotta graduate with good grades! :P

Anyways, I recently read in this book that H=R/E. Meaning, happiness equals to reality divided by expectation. It kinda makes sense, right? The lower your expectations, the greater your happiness is. I suppose it's subjective. Then again, if you flip it, it says, H x E = R.

...I'm still figuring that one out.

So...

2008-04-23T00:19:08Z

I was wondering...if someone tries to commit suicide but fails, does he get charged with attempted murder?

Can we, like, just leave this blank?

2008-04-21T00:59:49Z

I know it has only been an hour or so since my first post...but it's addictive. I can't stay away. :D Anyways, I've got a bone to pick with somebody. More than HALF of the mail in my inbox is MISSING. *sulks* Hotmail has got a huge problem. Unless of course, I accidently deleted them. But I don't recall doing that.

My first post!

2008-04-21T00:02:34Z

Okay, so Kendy wants me to write something...and I'm thinking about what to write. Btw, I'm not even sure why I made this account in the first place. :S But I think I'm going to enjoy it here.

*Is this a good enough first post? :P*